Reply to 1 kid vs. 2 kids - how did you decide?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When we were deciding whether to have a second, my mom was having major health issues.  I'm not particularly close to my sibling, but it was so nice to have somebody else supporting my dad with me and to check in with about my mom's situation.  My spouse also has a sibling who is single and has major health issues.

We wanted our kid to have somebody else to rely on in adulthood and didn't have any close friends with only children around our kid's age. It wasn't the only reason we had a second, but it tipped the scales for us. [/quote]

My brother died when he was 25, so now I'm an only child. One of my closest friend's sister died when she was 12, so now my friend is an only child. I get that that's not the norm, but having another child so that your child won't be alone when they're older is silly to me. [/quote]

Honestly, in the deepest, darkest recesses of my mind, one of the reasons I wanted more than one is so that if the unspeakable happened to one of my kids, I would still have a child to mother.[/quote]

I just posted about being one and done, and this was probably the biggest reason I did consider having another. But that in itself was a signal-- that I shouldn't. Not if that was at least half the reason I'd have a second!

Among other things, my BFF lost her sister when she was 10 and her sister was 8.

The thing that struck me was that if her parents had stopped after having my BFF, they would have exactly the same number of children they have now and not have endured that indescribable pain (which my BFF shared). I'm 100% certain they don't regret having had their second and didn't have her as a "spare" (as in "heir and a spare"). But my point is, have two kids and halve the chance you will end up with zero, but double the chance you will lose a child.

This is not to mention people I know who lost both their kids, or younger siblings that had much greater challenges than older siblings. Obviously the reverse can also be true. But the point is that it's a crapshoot.

The chances that a middle-class+ person in the USA will lose their child before their child hits 18 are very small anyway. And not terribly large as their child approaches 40. It's not a great way to make a decision, and shouldn't be a [i]significant[/i] factor IMO.[/quote]

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