Reply to Gender Disappointment- looking for proactive ways to get over it

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[quote=Anonymous]I had a donor egg baby and it was one of these processes that moved fast (after years of infertility) and I found myself pregnant and feeling unsettled about the whole thing and looking back with regret at the lost opportunities for a baby with my own eggs.

Some of that was probably steeling myself for another failed pregnancy but it was there. To address it I got great advice that "babies are extremely lovable" and I repeated that sentence to myself anytime negative thoughts crept in. Bonus: it turned out to be true!

Second, I spent time proactively envisioning my little baby and their cute smiles, and coos.

Last, I took a bit of extra care with the nursery and clothes (didnt bust my budget but I spent time shopping for cute thing that would making it a joyful space). I found the process of getting ready for my baby and thinking specifically about how I was going to care for her helped get me in a good headspace about her arrival.  No matter which gender, go find some fun things for the nursery or outrageously cute pajamas. (People always say just take hand-me down clothes, your kid doesnt care. But sometimes the clothes or a cute wall hanging can make YOU feel better and that has lots of value.)

Finally people said, and it turned out to be true, those love hormones that rush to you when your baby is born are strong and real. Good luck! [/quote]

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