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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP again. I want to clear up the notion that I only spend 30 mins per day with my kids which is not at all true. They are up by 7am latest and we spend an hour an a half together until I drop the older one at school at 8:30 and our nanny arrives. I stop working at 5:30pm so I think have another 2 hours with my youngest who goes to bed at 7:30pm, and my oldest who goes to bed at 8 gets 2.5 hours. Where I struggle is that I then need to handle everything else too - cooking, clean up, laundry, schedules, projects, etc. And I choose to stop working at 5:30 and then go back online later most nights so I can spend the time with my kids.

I am genuinely curious - are there moms who work full time and get to spend more time with their kids than this? Even if you work 9-5 with commuting it’s probably about the same I would imagine.

We also don’t work for what would be considered biglaw firms (although my firm is bigger than DH’s). DH is already a partner and makes around $500K per year all in. He has even more earning potential with his recent promotion but isn’t there yet. I make around $250K and made it clear I don’t want to be on partner track because those attorneys work much more than I do.

We also don’t live an overly extravagant lifestyle at all. DH went to private school and is not open to public regardless of how good it is. That’s the only think that would make a reasonable different in our expenditures. So when you add that up, plus FT nanny, summer camp and classes, our families both lives across the country so 2X per year flights, one vacation per year, etc... it really doesn’t go as far as it should. We also save quite a bit as we want to make sure college and possible grad school are covered for our kids.
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OP, we have probably half your income and similar types of expenses including private school, nanny, classes, trips, college. Maybe you need to reconsider COL in your area? Just seems like you work so much, make so much, but aren’t enjoying life... that’s no fun.

Re: working FT but seeing your kids more, I was able to WFH the first year of my kids’ lives with a nanny. I could nurse them and see their milestones. For the other years, I have flexed my time and put in 10-15 hours on nights and weekends. That means I can pick them up from school or do morning classes with them. My husband does the same with his schedule. Now I’m more senior so most of my hours are up to me. I can take my kids to the zoo on a weekday or to lessons after school. If you offered to quadruple my salary but made it 9-5, I wouldn’t do it now. Maybe in 10 years when the kids are grown, but I know I’d regret it if looking back on life I realized I had been in meetings instead of with my kids. I would not do well as a SAHM but maybe there is a balance you and your husband could attempt with all your resources.

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