Reply to Is anyone else's kid ignoring all the onboarding info?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mine is in the same place, and I suspect the previous posters suggesting your child is not ready for college don't have older teens.  They will get crummy housing and not their first choice of classes, and hopefully, they'll learn.  It's ok and will be ok.  Promise.[/quote]

Without prompting my senior DS has:

--Signed up for a 2-day orientation. He asked about our vacation dates, scheduled it, and took the days off work since it's all day. I have no idea what date it is, and he told me he has prereqs for it that he needs to do

--Found a roommate on IG and applied for housing. We didn't talk about cost because he wanted a hall dorm so he doesn't have to clean a bathroom, so I assume it's the cheapest.

--Been coordinating with friends who are going to school to compare notes and ask questions.

--Forwarded me a payment plan email. I did say earlier that I needed all financial info promptly.

He's told me all of this. I did ask him to look up AP credits and said that I was concerned that he wouldn't have graduate in 4 years, prompting it to cost more. He got annoyed, said he would graduate in 4 years, and that he would handle it (i.e. the details of AP). That's been the extent of my involvement, for comparison's sake. [/quote]

Lucky you.

I have two kids. My younger is still 14, but already sounds exactly like your senior. Self-motivated, mature, independent, on task, and a do-er.

My heading-to-college kid (same parents, same upbringing) has ADD, depression, and anxiety, and sounds more like OP's kid. We are necessarily more involved.

But you keep patting yourself on the back, PP.[/quote]

I did admit upthread, that while my post was annoyingly self congratulatory, it was a result of a lot of effort on my part and his. I have ADD and anxiety, and have had depression, so my inclination was to helicopter. Taking control of your kid’s email and tasks will never help them. When I have bad anxiety or am depressed my DH doesn’t take over my email. There are other better ways to support me than to micromanage my life. If it’s a serious depression some kids may need the time and space to recover before heading to school. If it’s overwhelm, executive functioning, or the parent’s own anxiety, then they need tools and/or the parent needs to step back as other pp have suggested.  [/quote]

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