Reply to Does you relationship change if you stay home ( for moms)?

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[quote=Anonymous]Things to consider:

[b]1)  Do you have good emergency childcare options?[/b]  If you are both working in patient care, then you do not have flexible schedules where you can take a day off at the last minute because your nanny is sick or your child had diarrhea and can't go to daycare now.  Do you have a grandparent or friend who can help with your child in an emergency?

[b]2)  Can you easily return to work with a break in your resume?[/b]  Some people will struggle with even a small break, others won't.  I would say that if you are a doctor, then you can probably take about a year completely off without consequence.  If you are a nurse, you can take longer.  But with both, you will find keeping a position much easier if you work part time (even if it's just occasional PRN shifts or locums work).

[b]3)  Is it going to significantly affect your finances?[/b]  If you are currently spending close to what you make as a couple, then you are going to be in trouble if you quit.

[b]4)  Is your spouse on board with you staying at home?  With you working?[/b]  I have found that some men pay lip service to wanting their wives to work, but don't really put their money where their mouth is and take on 50% of the household chores and child rearing.  Others might say that they are okay with their wives staying at home, but are stressed by being the sole provider.

[b]5)  Is your spouse in a stable career?  [/b]  Is there a risk that he could lose his job, and you could be without any income at all?  I am going to guess the answer is likely "no" in healthcare.

[b]6)  Do you like your job?  Do you like being at home? [/b]  What's your preference for your day to day?  Do you thrive on adrenaline and external validation?  If so, then you are going to be bored and depressed at home, and you will be frustrated with your husband because he isn't going to be able to give you the validation that you need.  
On the other hand, do you get overwhelmed or distracted easily?  If so, then the daily grind of: get up, get baby/self ready, head to work, work all day, pick up baby, dinner, bath, bed, clean-up, repeat, may feel toxic, particularly if you don't need the income, don't have a great childcare situation, etc.

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