Reply to If you cut off contact between your parent and your kids. How did you inform them?

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Reply to "If you cut off contact between your parent and your kids. How did you inform them?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP it would be helpful to understand at least at the 50,000 foot level the nature of the 2019 incident— was someone put in immediate danger, was mental health involved, are there legal issues at play.  The reason is because the response will vary; if your mother still lives with your father and you will be cut off from him if you tell her visits with the kids are off the table, I’d dissemble.  Sorry this year we’re going to John’s parents for Thanksgiving.  Yeah we want to have a quiet Mother’s Day at home. Etc.

If she’s the kind of dysfunctional to do something like “sue for grandparent visitation” then I would for sure say “Mom, since you left Jennifer unattended in the bath when she was 8 weeks old because you were drinking, we’re not planning for her to see you again” so she would know what the position in court would be and not try it.  I would probably even do that digitally to make sure I had receipts.

This seeking for information isn’t people being prurient, some genuinely want to help you/ have been there (depending where “there” is)[/quote]

OP here,

My father passed away many years ago, so that's not an issue.  My mom, at this point, is no longer in good enough health to travel alone to us.  Last time she came, she came with my brother, but he won't bring her against my will.  So, there's no possibility of her showing up at our house unannounced, or anything like that.  I am not concerned about a legal response.  [/quote]

Ok, then my advice is to say “Mom I’m planning to visit without the kids for the foreseeable future” and when she asks why say “we’re still very uncomfortable with what happened in 2019 and think it’s best that I visit on my own.”  It has the benefit of being fully accurate without being dramatic and there isn’t a whole lot she can say to argue other than telling you not to come.  If she presses for when she can see them again, you say “when DH and I are comfortable”.

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