Reply to Divorcing husband for not contributing to household chores

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This has been a principal issue in my marriage — did virtually no chores, did virtually nothing with the kids but the occasional trip to the playground, night out with friends, or after school pickup — and one I have tried many times to reset/restructure, to no avail. Then when our emotional connection went with it I completely disengaged and started informally planning what a divorce would look like. I thought of how good my life would be when there was a forcing function for getting a break from my kids and not having to pick up after him.

He (finally) noticed my disengagement and how serious it was, and started to change his tune. Now with many hard talks and couples therapy he does more around the house and engaged with the kids (though not 50/50), but my feelings have changed and I’m not sure if it’s just too late now.

So technically it wouldn’t be “because of” the division of chores, but it was certainly the first nail. I think it’s more that a very inequitable division of chores and parenting indicates a kind of disrespect for your partner. The sadness, anger, resentment, exhaustion from facing that disrespect almost every day builds up and can become too tall a wall to get over. [/quote]

It's really so, so unattractive when men act so incompetent and inconsiderate.  It's not really easy to come back from [/quote]

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