Reply to I worked at a daycare for 5 years, nannied for 5 years and have now been a SAHM for 5 years. AMA.

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Reply to "I worked at a daycare for 5 years, nannied for 5 years and have now been a SAHM for 5 years. AMA."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do you do about toddler tantruming? I feel like my almost 2.5 yo just....cannot ever want things that he can have. He only wants things he cannot have. He screams and cries so intensely more than a dozen times a day because he can’t get what he wants (usually something unsafe or impossible). What do we do when he’s melting down continuously like that? We are all so rattled from the non stop screaming. As a family we are at the end of our rope. I dont enjoy any of the time I spend with him, it’s like a countdown always to nap or bedtime.[/quote]

That’s a tough one.

Of course it’s age-appropriate for children at that age to throw fits and want what they can’t have but it seems like your concerned about how often this is happening and more importantly how it’s affecting your family and your relationship with your child.

I’ll be honest, I never handled tantrums well.  I get frustrated really easy. Especially with my own kids. I feel like everyone has a different opinion on how to approach tantrums from ignoring or disciplining or helping the child through their emotions.

I do all three, I guess. They can have they tantrum and if they want they can sit in my lap or give me a hug if they’re upset.  But, they cannot hit, kick, hurt people or throw objects.  If the fit is going on for too long or I’m truly overwhelmed and can’t take the screaming I’ll usually tell the child (if older than 18 months) that they’re hurting my ears and leave the room and let them know I’m here if they need me.

My son didn’t have tantrums often but they were so long.  If he was upset he’s scream and cry and make a scene until we literally had to jump through hoops to make him happy again.   I’d get beyond annoyed after ten minutes and didn’t feel like I needed to distract him from the fact that he’s pissed he didn’t get a sip of my Diet Coke.

I’m a firm believer and letting kids feel their emotions.  I see parents work hard to make sure they’re kids are happy all the time and the kids have a really hard time self regulating emotions because they’re never allowed to practice those skills.  It’s disappointment and disappointment isn’t fun.   I label emotions, “you’re angry.  I know, but you can’t kick..hit.. etc..”

What worked for my son is a calm down space (we built it in his closet) that had pillows, low lights, and a few “calming toys” and music.  75% of the time he’s to and throw his fit and then calm down and come back.  It wasn’t a punishment but an option we made appealing.  But sometimes he preferred to stay and continue screaming and honestly we’d just leave the room or something because *I* needed a break and to calm down.

He doesn’t do this as much anymore.

But if you feel like it’s excessive (it might be) I’d consult your pediatrician.  If there are underlying issues you’d want to know now.  [/quote]

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