Reply to Issues with his exwife and how he handles her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Depending on how he treated her during the marriage/divorce, her behavior might be understandable.

Men who have a "crazy" ex are sometimes the reason she's crazy. [/quote]

And sometimes the crazy is the reason she is an ex  :lol: [/quote]
This must be op. You sound so "snappy" and immature. Grow up. You are only reinforcing my impression that you are not a responsible parent to your own kids.
His kids and his ex, are clearly his priorities. Sad, that your kids can't say the same about you.[/quote]

what the....no man should prioritize his EX.[/quote]

I disagree with this. She's still the parent of his children. I'm married, but if I ever divorce then I would try to prioritize my ex's needs and work together as a team to raise our kids. I could easily see a scenario where the ex plans to take them on certain dates, but then something else comes up and those dates no longer work. Would you really tell your ex that she'll have to miss a big work conference or can't take care of her ailing relative post surgery because your GF wants to force all the teens together for a vacation during that time?

Now that I'm writing it all out, one possibility is that OP's BF doesn't want to plan blended vacations with OP and the 6 kids and may be using his ex's schedule changes as an excuse to dodge it. The kids might be begging him not to make them go too. It would be a jerk move rather than just telling her if this is the case.[/quote]

“ Would you really tell your ex that she'll have to miss a big work conference or can't take care of her ailing relative post surgery because your GF wants to force all the teens together for a vacation during that time?”

Yes, of course! Those are her issues to solve now! He’s not responsible for covering for her if she has work travel or a sick relative to take care of. She needs to handle care for the kids during her custody time.

Any man who cancels a vacation with his current wife or girlfriend in order to cover for his ex’s work trip is going to find himself single pretty damn fast.

And I’m sure the ex wives would prefer their ex husbands be single, which is why some ex wives love trying to make life difficult for their exes and their current partners.

[/quote]

Honestly, yeah, I might do just that (and I am a woman). I think it is stupid to try and blend a family of teenagers so I wouldn't do it for that reason, but if your ambition is to have a healthy relationship with a new partner while also providing spouse-level support and accommodation to the ex, it's going to be pretty tough.  There are only so many hours in the day and with this many people in the family system, the slices of Accomodations Pie get pretty thin.  Sometimes it's best not to be each other's source of support and to cultivate other networks that are not your ex and have less baggage.  The kids may also come to resent being dumped on you when their father gets busy.  Ultimately he needs to learn to stand on his own feet as a parent and make job and family caregiving arrangements accordingly.  Not keep his ex as Crisis Wife forever and ever.  It gets old fast.[/quote]

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