Reply to Issues with his exwife and how he handles her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Depending on how he treated her during the marriage/divorce, her behavior might be understandable.

Men who have a "crazy" ex are sometimes the reason she's crazy. [/quote]

And sometimes the crazy is the reason she is an ex  :lol: [/quote]
This must be op. You sound so "snappy" and immature. Grow up. You are only reinforcing my impression that you are not a responsible parent to your own kids.
His kids and his ex, are clearly his priorities. Sad, that your kids can't say the same about you.[/quote]

what the....no man should prioritize his EX.[/quote]

I disagree with this. She's still the parent of his children. I'm married, but if I ever divorce then I would try to prioritize my ex's needs and work together as a team to raise our kids. I could easily see a scenario where the ex plans to take them on certain dates, but then something else comes up and those dates no longer work. Would you really tell your ex that she'll have to miss a big work conference or can't take care of her ailing relative post surgery because your GF wants to force all the teens together for a vacation during that time?

Now that I'm writing it all out, one possibility is that OP's BF doesn't want to plan blended vacations with OP and the 6 kids and may be using his ex's schedule changes as an excuse to dodge it. The kids might be begging him not to make them go too. It would be a jerk move rather than just telling her if this is the case.[/quote]

“ Would you really tell your ex that she'll have to miss a big work conference or can't take care of her ailing relative post surgery because your GF wants to force all the teens together for a vacation during that time?”

Yes, of course! Those are her issues to solve now! He’s not responsible for covering for her if she has work travel or a sick relative to take care of. She needs to handle care for the kids during her custody time.

Any man who cancels a vacation with his current wife or girlfriend in order to cover for his ex’s work trip is going to find himself single pretty damn fast.

And I’m sure the ex wives would prefer their ex husbands be single, which is why some ex wives love trying to make life difficult for their exes and their current partners.

[/quote]

PP here. Admittedly, this is a first marriage for me and my husband, so no exes or kids from prior relationships. I guess I was thinking that you would still try to help cover childcare for each other when needed, because eventually both of you will need that flexibility. Not canceling a booked vacation, but moving dates around during planning to find a mutually convenient time. That's not how it works?[/quote]

Some people do it this way, but some people *and some kids* prefer to just have the schedule be the schedule and not vary it very often.  The schedule is designed the way it is for a reason.

It's important to wrap your head around the idea that they are no longer married.  They are co-parenting the kid but they are no longer spouse-ing each other.  His or her work or extended family obligations are not something the other has to go out of their way to accommodate.  Can they of they want to?  Sure.  But people divorce in order to separate their lives from each other and don't like a constant flow of communication and favors back and forth.  Sometimes it is easier to have some space.  Especially if one person tends to ask for more flexibility than the other wants to give, or to not reciprocate.  Good fences make good neighbors and all.  And holding a man accountable for his parenting commitments and not catching his dropped balls is one of the best things about divorce.[/quote]

Yep. This.[/quote]

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