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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your baby might not be neuro-typical (NT).

Your baby might be an HSP (highly sensitive person)--there are individuals who are HSP in every kind of social animal that has been studied about this; the group needs HSP individuals to survive (there are also Low SP individuals in every group as well).  HSP indivduals have a fine-tuned or intensified senses.  Pre-industrializtion, they helped the group because they are the first to detect the predator or prey, recognize changes in the weather, tell that the food is spoiled or poisoned etc.  In modern life, it's hard for them because clothes can be itchy, sounds too loud, etc.

My now 18 y.o. is an HSP and a bit neuro-diverse (not NT, so SN--special needs) and is headed to a top 10 college in the fall (I'm trying to say, she's thriving).  But raising her was really tough, and it started out this way.  I aged so much that first year, from exhaustion.

I also have an NT kid and the difference between NT kid and SN kid is like raising a dog and a dolphin.  To continue the analogy, the first step is recognizing you have a dolphin, not a dog, and treating accordingly.  Also, fyi, not getting advice from dog parents. Dog parents will not understand why your little dolphin won't do what their dogs can do so easily, and will blame your parenting.  But both types can perform--it's just recognizing what you have, and finding the right environment.

I'd reach out to your pediatrician and discuss it, OP.  The issue isn't your wife complaining.  The issue is that you have a high-maintenance baby and you both need some support and coping strategies.[/quote]

OP here. My baby doesn’t have this. He is fine. [b]The issue is my wife made him this way. He would be a totally different baby if my wife didn’t practice attachment parenting. [/b][/quote]

I think this is the most problematic thing you've written and probably a major reason why your wife is very defensive and appears unwilling to listen or change.    It is highuly unlikely that your wife made your kid this way.  Much more likely that he has a challenging temperment. That doesn't mean that it can't be exacerbated by your wife's actions or the conflict between you two but it is likely that no matter what you are doing your baby would be challenging.

As a counter example - I was apparently a very easy baby who slept until 11am! (in contrast my childhood friend born 3 days before me was very fussing and her parents spent all night driving her around in a car to get her to sleep.)   My parents were concerned  that I was sleeping too much and took me to the pediatrican. .  (The pediatrician told them to count their blessings.)  The point is that my sleeping to 11AM had nothing to do with their parenting skills or lack there of. My friend's parents who drove her around in desparation to get her to sleep were not worse or unskilled  parents (she had an older sister so certainly they had more experience and skills than mine).   Babies can have very different temperments.

Stop blaming your wife for your baby's temperament and perhaps communication will improve and you can find some workable solutions. [/quote]

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