Reply to On a safari, should I try to have a fling with the guide??

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Reply to "On a safari, should I try to have a fling with the guide??"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No! You want to get a sexually transmitted disease from someone who has probably slept with many of the tourists he has taken to see the grove of trees 20 minutes out? He is using you. You will be another conquest for hi,... another notch on his belt. Have some self respect.[/quote]

As another long-time and current expat, just no.  Terrible idea.

I hate that this is true, but when these things happen the Western woman is the one people laugh at and who usually ends up hurt or humiliated.  (Lots of Western men find their first, second, third, and beyond wives this way).  [/quote]

How would OP end up hurt or humiliated by having a fling with a hot guy like this? She didn't say she'd like to have a fling then stay at the safari camp for the rest of her life as his wife - but oh no, he's got his eyes on the next dev worker coming through.[/quote]

Well, first of all, we know two people who acquired STDs (despite condoms) sleeping with tour guide or professional boy toy type people in places like this.  So that's the primary concern.  But also, expat communities are small and mobile fishbowls, interconnected in ways you can't predict, and the gossip is concentrated and crazy.  Almost every time we've moved to a new country, we've encountered colleagues who knew people we knew in other posts or even had people we worked with years ago suddenly pop up again.  Everyone knows everything and nothing goes away, ever  She'll talk or--worse--he will.  Right or wrong, women who sleep with the tour guide types are regarded as pathetic, and I can't explain the reasons for that here because I don't have time, and also because I think you have to see it happen a few times to understand the dynamics of the situation.  It's just a terrible idea.[/quote]

+1.  In addition, it is sexual harassment. OP, you are a client. It is his job to take you on safari and make you happy.  But, it is not his job to sleep with you. You put him in a very awkward position by hitting on him. Even if he wants to he could be risking his job if found out.

Also, male development or humanitarian aid workers sleeping with local women, prostitutes, etc., is a major mission problem often resulting in situations of abuse, women being taken advantage of or outright criminal activity. Why would you want to normalize that by sleeping with local staff while on mission?

Just no. There are millions of men to pick up in the world. You can find someone who isn’t in an employment relationship with you. [/quote]

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