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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If she can care for him at home he will likely get better care. Duh. [/quote]

A 60 year old woman, living alone, caring for a 90 year old man with severe Parkinson's and dementia, who cannot really walk, sounds like he will get better care? It sounds like a path to one of them getting injured.

We were in this situation with my grandmother. We kept her at home. We had daytime help with her as my parents both still worked outside of the home, but were not in a position to afford 24 hour care. She would insist on walking around with her walker even though she was not steady on her feet. She was not a small woman and would end up falling even with one of us literally next to her, and depending on who was home, we would sometimes have to call an ambulance to help lift her. One of the falls resulted in her passing.

Was she happier? I really can't say. The dementia affected her personality, she was constantly agitated, didn't really recognize our house and kept asking to "go home" and trying to leave (she'd lived with us for decades at that point). She also stopped recognizing my dad (her son in law of over three decades at that point), thought he was a different person every time she saw him, and constantly accused my mom of bringing home a series of strange men to rob her. I don't know if being in nursing care would have been better or worse but perhaps she wouldn't have fallen. [/quote]

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