Reply to Father with dementia in nursing home, sister wants to bring him home

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Father with dementia in nursing home, sister wants to bring him home"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have elderly parents and they live near my brother. Siblings and I have always held the opinion that the boots on the ground gets to make decisions. Your sister is the one who is looking after your dad and she gets to make the decision.  Sorry.

Do what you can to make her life easier.  Emotionally, the quality of life for your dad will be better if he is at home.  He is probably near death. Let him be surrounded by loved ones. Let him not be with strangers. The aim is not for him to live longer. The aim for him is to live happier even if it is a shorter life. [/quote]

Thank you. This is very helpful. I will continue to do whatever I can to support her. I guess that includes taking all of her verbal abuse even when we all do anything we can to support her. She's doing the work, so I guess that's what I deserve. Unfortunately it's ripping apart the family, and after years and years of taking it from her and still continue to love her, one day that love might be gone. You can only abuse the ones that have been there for you so many times. [/quote]

OP again - and just to add, his quality of life won't be better. She screams at him when he spills something, threatens to have him removed and put in a home if he won't get up and go to the bathroom himself, and then usually tells him to "F off".  Everyone wants to make this about my poor sister, but as I have said, I could write a book about what life has been like for the rest of the family since she moved in. At the nursing home it's peaceful, he socializes in the dining room and has a routine. The same cannot be said when he gets home. But I guess I am just a deadbeat that had the nerve to not live by my parents, so good luck dad![/quote]

This sounds like a terrible situation. I’m really sorry.

If you want to override your sisters decision (she has POA, so she gets to make the decision), you’ll have to get an elder abuse organization involved and take her to court to strip the POA.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It sounds awful. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics