Reply to your child's future wedding

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is how I feel. I'd be so sad if my child didn't want to include all the people who helped raise him. If I'm paying for the extra expense, why would they refuse?[/quote]

Eh, this is not about you. It's about your adult child getting married and marking a major milestone in their life as they see fit. If they want a small wedding, you don't get to throw money and think that earns you the right to invite whomever you want. That's a quick way to alienate your child.

I was in my 30s when I got married and wanted a very small wedding. My H felt the same way. We chose a venue for the size we had in mind. My parents did not help with the planning process, but wanted to invite more people.  It would have completely change the character of the wedding. Even if they offered to pay, it's not so simple as to add more tables. Unless your child involves you in the planning process and you're paying a significant portion of it, you have no say in the guest list. Let your child flex his wings. [/quote]

This exactly. We paid ourselves and had a 100 person wedding at a small venue that could not fit much more than that. Only our friends and family we were close to, no parent friends. I very clearly remember MIL sighing and dramatically declaring she'd have to buy a table for her friends herself - big assumption, given that there literally was not room for another table.

Weddings should not be about the parents and I find it really kind of pathetic when they insist on making the day about themselves. MIL ended up having a separate party *for herself* to congratulate her on her son's wedding. Bonkers.[/quote]

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