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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the PP wit the 7 year denial. It does get better, but that kind of long term rejection changes the relationship permanently. You will never be what you hoped to be because of this issue even if she turned into a nympho overnight. It isn't the sex but the ego crushing rejection over years by the person you hold most dear that makes you change. If I would have known that mine would last 7 years, I would have cheated and felt fine about it. I had no idea I would suffer that long, and so I didn't, but I am not proud of that, and I would be guiltless now looking back if I had an affair. I hate that I carry this around with me. I hated reading your post and having the bitterness come back so vividly just from your story reminding me of mine. My wife has made vast improvements and I am comfortable where we are at, but I resent her from stealing a hugely important chunk of my life from me. I will never get those years back. Her selfishness stole from me something I will never get back. [/quote]

I am a woman who would feel the exact same way if I hadn't had a long term relationship outside the marriage.  I was married more than 7 years and so sick of always being the spouse who wanted it more. Not just the sex, but the physical touching and affection, and the ego boost that comes from being flirted with and desired.  I told him even when we were engaged that I was frustrated, and he assured me it would get better after we got married and began living together. But it never really did, so I took matters into my own hands. No guilt whatsoever. My DH just doesn't desire a marriage with a robust love life; or shall I say, he thinks what we have is robust :(  He just doesn't want more.[/quote]

Hi, so I am a woman in same boat where husband does not want more. Do you tell your husbadn about long term relationship outside?  e.g. are you in an "open marriage" or are you just keeping a low profile on the other sexier relationship?  I ask not to judge.  I am just wondering how you have structured your life to find time for two long-term relationships?  Does your husband suspect anything?  Does your other lover get jealous?  Do you feel like the other lover is expecting you to leave your husband for him, or does he know he is just on the side?  Just curious how this works optimally.[/quote]

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