Reply to Changed relationship after grandma’s estate plans changed?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I get it. As some have mentioned it's different when someone promises you something and takes it back. That is pretty cruel and can be highly manipulative if the person is of sound mind.

I have been there for my parents for over a decade for emergencies, hospital stays and endless visits. I had always been told I would inherit, but not how much and that was fine. As one parent declined more and had more emergencies the other one started lashing out, but refused to hire help (despite what I later found out was millions and millions), get therapy or go on meds. As things got worse I pushed for evaluations and more supports and I became the recipient of incredibly painful verbal abuse. I backed away some and over time was told because I backed away i would be losing millions in inheritance.

I continued to be there with major boundaries not for money, but because there was some love there once. I endured many money threats and made it clear that I would no longer listen to these manipulations. I said your money is your money to do with as you please, but I do not want to hear anymore about all the ways I am being punished with your money.

One parent has since passed and when the living one feels happy I get all these promises of what money will be mine and when I am scapegoated I am told all the money that won't be mine. Keep in mind I have siblings who rarely help who aren't dealing with these threats. I refuse to engage with any of it.

I plan to give my kids money while I am living and make thing equal when I pass. I will do whatever i can to safeguard from someone taking advantage and I will live in continued care from 70s onward and just hope my kids visit and enjoy my company. I refuse to be a monster with my demands, I pray I don't become abusive with age and I hope I will agree to medication if I become nutty.[/quote]

That's terrible of your parent to try to manipulate like that. Is the living parent of sound mind? Can you talk to them about it? Just tell him that you spend time with him and help him because he's your parent, not because of the money. And tell him  any time he feels like telling you you're disinherited, to please just keep it to himself because you just don't care. [/quote]

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