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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP:  Thanks for the response.  I am the OP and I agree with you.  Indeed the tradition of a dowry is no longer practiced.  However, it seems odd that when both parents want the same  thing for their kids, there would not be an offer from the grooms parents to participate.  Our financial advisor said it is very appropriate to subtly bring the subject up. The grooms parents don't want to be viewed as inappropriate if they bring it up.  I had a very traditional wedding. Many of those traditions have changed:  we did not use response cards, there was a proper way to respond to a formal invitation.  We did not use save the dates.  The groom paid for the brides bouquet.  The grooms mother was not privy to the plans.  These things have all changed.

My son is probably going to get engaged after this wedding.  I cannot imagine expecting the bride's parents to pay for everything.  I cannot fathom giving her parents a guest list and expect them to pay for my guests. How could I live with that?  I think it is unreasonable.

I realized that I was flip when I suggested that we will have no equity in our home.  When you are in your 50's, it is topic of conversation.  I can understand how those starting out (or getting going), would not understand the comment.  We can afford the wedding.

PP:  Thank you for not sharing your wedding experience.  We want to give our daughter a nice wedding (not a big blow out).  [b]I am just shocked that, in this economy, this "tradition" has not evolved accordingly.[/b]
[/quote]

As women have entered the professional workforce, I believe this tradition has evolved, such that many or perhaps most couples pay for their own weddings, with or without help from their parents.

Is this not an option here?  If not, why not?

I'm not sure why your financial adviser is in a position to say whether you should or should not broach the topic with the groom-to-be's parents.  Financial advisers provide advice on financial matters, and not, in general, on interpersonal ones.[/quote]

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