Reply to At wits' end with potty training 3yr old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do it on a weekend. If he pees or poops on his underwear he gets no underwear for the rest of the day. Be prepared to stay in most of the weekend. But let other parent go out with sibling. Let him know he’s missing out thru his own choices. If he has a tantrum tell him he has to have it in his room. Carry him there if necessary. He is 3.5, you need to get serious. [/quote]

That's what we've been doing. We had a 4 day weekend and thought we could make more progress. We took away toys and screens, too. Didn't help.[/quote]

Taking away toys doesn’t make sense. Same with screens. You’re basically teaching him that going to bathroom in the potty makes life horrible.

[/quote]

Ok. Got a better idea then? How do I motivate him?

I should clarify that I do give him screen-time specifically when he's on the potty. Just not any other time. The toys are recent, and partly motivated by him throwing toys while having potty-related tantrums. We took the main toy away we'll give him a peice back when he uses the potty. And we take anything away he throws.[/quote]

I think this is part of your problem. You should not give him screen time when he is sitting on the potty. That makes sitting on the potty a passive activity, to watch TV if that’s the only time he gets to watch, rather than doing what he supposed to actively do on the potty: go. Where he likely is now (or will be if you continue this) is that he will agree to sit or say he has to go even if he does not have to go to the bathroom if it means he can get screen time, right? Definitely not a good idea. He should be sitting on the potty to actively go or try to go. You would probably have much better luck telling him he can watch a five minute video after he sits on the potty, not during. [/quote]

OK- again, got a better idea?  I don't know how to describe what is a struggle its been to just get him to sit on the potty at all, much less use it.[/quote]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do it on a weekend. If he pees or poops on his underwear he gets no underwear for the rest of the day. Be prepared to stay in most of the weekend. But let other parent go out with sibling. Let him know he’s missing out thru his own choices. If he has a tantrum tell him he has to have it in his room. Carry him there if necessary. He is 3.5, you need to get serious. [/quote]

That's what we've been doing. We had a 4 day weekend and thought we could make more progress. We took away toys and screens, too. Didn't help.[/quote]

Taking away toys doesn’t make sense. Same with screens. You’re basically teaching him that going to bathroom in the potty makes life horrible.

[/quote]

OK- again, got a better idea?  I don't know how to describe what is a struggle its been to just get him to sit on the potty at all, much less use it.[/quote]

Sure. Other than screen time, what does he like? You need to motivate him to try. Even just agreeing to sit for 10 seconds will be something to positively reinforce at this stage in the game. If he’s not motivated by getting a sticker or a couple of jelly beans when he sits, how would he react to a temporary tattoo or a $.25 glow stick from the dollar store? The rewards are motivators (and temporary until he’s on board) whether it’s something tangible like a tiny toy or screen time after he tries to sit and go or something he wants, like to go outside to play or help make pancakes for breakfast. If he may be a child who needs attention and positive words more than toys, then you make it a big deal that he sits for 10 seconds. Do a potty dance, sing a party song. Count backwards with him from 10 pretending to be a rocket ship blasting off. When he goes in the potty, make it a super big deal. Call one of his grandparents or an aunt and uncle to brag about how he was such a big kid and went. Make a big deal about filling out the potty chart each time. Only you will know how to motivate your child. It might be through rewards and bribes, it might be through words of encouragement versus tangible items, it might be failed threats like peer pressure if all of his friends are out of diapers.

Obviously what you’re doing now with giving screen time only while he sits on the potty is not getting you anywhere, so what do you have to lose by trying, literally, anything else people are suggesting here, right?! Lots of great ideas, you just need to form a plan and really follow through.

Ps — I also think it would not hurt to talk to your pediatrician about his diet and how that is relating to potty training. Yogurt and high-fat dairy can actually be very constipating. If he’s eating more than one yogurt a day, and not a whole lot else or a limited menu, he may be constipated or potentially also dehydrated. None of that will help your cause. If you need ways to get him to drink more liquids so his system runs a little more efficiently if he won’t budge on the diet side of things, have him get involved in making dairy-free smoothies, adding drops of food coloring to apple juice, picking a flavor of Crystal light to pour into his water cup etc. [/quote]

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