Reply to Playdate - did we do something wrong?

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Reply to "Playdate - did we do something wrong?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can't believe only one poster on here acknowledged the possibility of an unknown-to-OP dynamic such as HFA or another different ability.

If something seems unusual or "off," consider that something might be unknown to you that is still completely valid.

The other mom did the best she could. OP can decide what to do in the future. Let's hope not allowing "100 changes of pants" will be among her decisions. [/quote]

Kids take forever getting out of the house. Anyone who expects military time when coordinating a preschool playdate will be sorely let down, I think. And who's to say OP didn't do the best she could, getting her kid out the door?[/quote]

So you’re just going to ignore completely the possibility of the other kid having special needs or different abilities, and reiterate the defense of pants? Got it [/quote]

Glad you got it! A few minutes late for a playdate with a neighbor is not grounds to freak out. Kid time is fluid. [/quote]

Unless the other kid has special needs or different abilities. Which you clearly do not care about. And no, the other mom isn't required to divulge that to new friends.

We have two nice little boys down the street who clearly have special needs or different abilities. I have never asked, nor felt I was entitled, to more information. I simply adjust my interactions with them to meet what I perceive to be what works for them. It's none of my business other to be kind and flexible. I guess it's too much to ask that other adults treat kids who may need a little extra accommodation the same way.[/quote]

DP, and that's fine, but in that case, the mom hosting should have given OP a head's up about the time thing.  You don't have to disclose PHI to do that, and then it allows the OP to plan accordingly.  "Just so you're aware, time is a big thing for Larla, so if you can be as prompt as possible, that would be great" or something to that effect.  If a new neighbor said that to me, you're darn right I'd be on time.  I'd be grateful to her for letting me know, too, because for most kids, 10 minutes is not a big deal.  Parents need to advocate for their kids in these cases, not expect others to read the tea leaves.[/quote]

Exactly! The onus is on the mom of the kid with special circumstances to make clear that her child has trouble with time (and to set her child's expectations in advance). If you have a playdate "around 1 p.m." maybe don't prime your kid for disappointment by dragging them out to wait at 12:59. When the plans were being set, the parent should have said, "Around 1 p.m. might be tricky; if we could be as precise as possible it would help" (or whatever phrasing felt right) and of course, I think most people would accommodate!

For most people, 10 minutes for a little kid neighborhood meet-up is so not a big deal. You can't expect people to be mind-readers, and it was the first-ever playdate -- so no frame of reference for the boundaries/sensitivities of the other family. You have to advocate for your kid if you have a request/know something a stranger never would.[/quote]

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