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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like your child was looking for a school where he/she would be happy and have a great high school experiences.  Sounds like you were looking for "elite school" bragging rights.  Get over that.  It's certainly up to you whether you want to spend the money at any private school, but the best outcomes in terms of college and such generally occur when the student is at or near the top of the class regardless of whether that's public, Sidwell, or a "lesser private". [/quote]

OP here.  Our concerns were more that this particular child needed thr rigor and structure of an elite same sex school to push them to work harder and smarter.  After languishing in online DL in a public for a year and a half, my bright kid has developed bad habits from being confined inside to a computer all day and night. We were looking for the structure, rigor and the competitive kick in the pants. The not so competitive school is going to be more fun and a better overall high school experience and we love that but worried that it will not have the rigor and structure kid needs emerging from the pandemic. Our other kid has already been in a sane sex private and it has done wonders for her. Miles better than our public experience and now other kid won’t get sane experience. So wondering, does it matter?

We don’t necessarily want kid to go to an Ivy.  But all of this did get me thinking about what any of this means and if it really gets you anywhere in life. Some parents on this board act like getting into these schools is literal life or death.  I know why we wanted the school but I want to know why they feel that way.  I admit judging.  Just curios. What is the thought process? What am I missing?[/quote]

The quality of education and the culture of a school matters. That’s where your child is going to be experiencing peer pressure.  Who are their peers?

Yes, it matters if their values are being set by peers who care about academic excellence and being good people. Yes, an environment where character education is consistently reinforced matters. It’s not so much about attending Ivies as ensuring that the influences that prevalent during your child’s most formative years are positive ones. High school is where kids begin to establish a sense of their adult selves. It sets them up for success in college and in life .. or not.

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