Reply to Siblings "marrying up" and fading away

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[quote=Anonymous]OP.  Really. Your posting is a great example of the drama and stress and lack of planning that bothers your sister.

1) The wedding is over.  You need to stop obsessing about it and focus on the present.

2) It is totally unrealistic to think your sister could have spent the wedding money bailing out your parents.  In American culture traditionally the bride's parents pay a lot.  So it's nice that they weren't expected to.  But it was never her money.  The ILs paid but they had expectations and guests they wanted it to cover.  It was mostly not up to your sister.  What do you want from her?  Should she have broken up with her fiance because the wedding offended you?  Is that what your parents wanted?

3) Your sister may have gotten used to a family with less stress and emotional drama and decided she really likes it.  If this seems normal and acceptable to you, fine, but you need to understand it isn't normal and acceptable to everyone.  See if you can dial down the drama and guilt that goes along with these requests.

4) Here you are posting again and again about a wedding in the past.  What are your parents and you doing to solve the problems of the present?  Get your parents on a list for subsidized housing.  See if you can get them food stamps or charitable help.  All this drama combined with the lack of any plan to deal with the problem and stop throwing good money away on these debts is what is putting your sister off and frankly I would feel the same.[/quote]

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