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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Reply to "Parents with no friends or family around, how did you survive the first month on barely any sleep? "
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[quote=Anonymous]I was in that situation as we had our first baby in August 2020 and my husband and I did not have any help at all until I started work when the baby was 5 months old. So one of us were non-stop with the baby. We did not get to see parents due to the pandemic. My husband went back to work after 1 week so I took all of the night wakes until the baby started STTN around 3 months. It seemed fair to me that I do that b/c he was working and I was not - btw, since I went back to work, he takes care of the baby more b/c I work 12+ hour days whereas he works 9-10 hrs so I am NOT proposing gender inequality. To the contrary. But to me that seemed like the optimal thing to do. He is also less disciplined than I am so I was afraid he would just take the easy way out and rock the baby to sleep instead of helping the baby learn to sleep independently. Figured, I'm on leave anyway, I don't need to deliver at work, so I can have a hard time now, but have a well-sleeping baby when I go back to work so let me set the right foundation, even if easier for me to just take the baby into my bed to help him and I fall asleep. What I suggest you do: 1) feed the baby during the day enough such that he does not need to wake up every hour. Ours would wake up every 2-3 hours when he was a newborn, but every 1 hour all the time might be more of a sleep association problem not necessarily a need to eat; 2) teach the baby to learn how to fall asleep independnetly. Easier if you do it early on. The baby will fuss for 2-5 mins and you may have to go shush him, but you set the right foundation. It suck for 2-3 weeks b/c it actually requires more effort from you so you get even less sleep but after that, he starts waking up when he really has a problem, as opposed to him not being able to connect sleep cycles. Then you get to a much more manageable 2-3 X / night. Go to bed at 8 so that you can get in 5-6 hours of sleep (interrupted) but 6 hours is still decent. [/quote]
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