Reply to Lonely, Empty Marriage After Dead MIL

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Lonely, Empty Marriage After Dead MIL"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I reported the gotcha bully and every post that was derailing this.

OP, I feel for you.  It's a tough situation.

I was surprised when you said you stopped couples therapy because husband was spinning web of lies.  I guess I think that's where he's staerting-  those are the things he believes.  So you have to go into therapy to come to a mutual understanding of your life together.  It would take time for him to get there.  I think couples therapy is not a terrible idea, but it would take a LONG time.  [/quote]
OP here. When I said that he was lying, I mean knowing lies. He was denying that his parents had said things that he knew who all they had sad. I had to bring out emails to prove him a liar because his constant denials were getting in the way of any kind of work we could do there. Eventually, I thought to myself, why don’t I just do this in divorce court?

That’s my husband’s personality, by the way. Any time there’s a reality he doesn’t want to face, he just lies about it. I’ve seen him do it over the years on many issues. He just denies it ever happened and just keeps on repeating that it didn’t happen almost as if trying to hypnotize himself and others into believing it. It’s a very disturbing personality trait that his parents also share.

[quote]During that time, you can start making your plans..  Those plans should include individual therapy.  If nothing else, figuring out how to drop the anger at your husband would be productive.  It's warranted, but just like the bully, it does you no good to stew about his lies 8 years ago.  That happened, and here's where you are.

I am also curious why DH still wants to be married to you.  There must be something there.  And like another asked, what kind of daad is he?  Does he actively love his kids?  (how is he when he is around his family?).  Does he coach soccer or whatever and help with special needs kid?  [/quote]
Right now, he’s a pretty good parent in terms of the daily details, but that came only after years of me having to educate and carry him along like a child. That’s an issue that I forgave him on, but at some point there’s just too much to keep forgiving.

[quote]If you got pregnant quickly, and have bene together about 8 years, your kids are roughly 7 or so.  I'd imagine 12 or som might be enough for kids to be able to understand what is going on and express their own preferences for custody.

so, I'd advise a 5 year plan. Can you tough this out for 5 years?  What do you need to do to make it for 5 years and be in a good position to divorce at that point.   stick to that.  [/quote]
Yes, five years is the minimum my son needs. My daughter is a different story, but I have a feeling he’s not going to want to fight for custody of her when she’s a teenager who needs her sanitary pad changed and such.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics