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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Thank you for understanding that 120k standard of living and 440 combined standard of living is totally different. His child support won’t “make up” the difference for me. I had a good corporate job before  “mommy tracking” to a smaller family business. While I managed our business successfully (in some years making way more than my husband on real estate), he was climbing up the corporate ladder. His mistress is his subordinate and a business partner - she’s making way more than me.[b] I feel like he used me for childbearing and home making in my prime years, then screwed me just before his own retirement (he’s in mid 50s), to depart for even wealthier pastures.
My retirement plans were build around my family! [/b]
[/quote]

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. When I practiced family law and before that worked for a long established family law attorney, I saw this happen so many times. It’s so cruel and selfish and sadly, too many times the men who do this are teaching their sons to have the same attitude toward commitment and family.

I’ve never been married and I often feel regrets about that, but stories like yours remind me that the great majority of marriages aren’t healthy, no matter how they appear on the surface - or even how they might appear to some of the committed spouses in them. So many women end up alone in midlife and beyond through no fault of their own.

If you trust your lawyer, follow your lawyer’s advice. Try to set aside your very justified anger about the other woman, at least in terms of how it affects your son. Sadly she is going to be part of his life now whether he lives with her part time until he goes off to college, or chooses to live full time with you (he’s old enough that the court will likely order whatever his preference is) and just visits there. Try as hard as you possibly can to rise above your husband’s horrible example and to keep your son out of the acrimony. He will form his own opinions of their behavior  and the older he gets, the wiser those opinions will become. But it’s very important that he not be made a pawn in the hostility between you and soon to be exDH. If you act with the greater integrity the rewards in the long term with your son will be certain. It will also ultimately be better for your own mental health to practice this approach. YOU did the right things. YOU are not at fault here. There is nothing to be gained by fostering anger and acrimony over your husband’s egregious moral failings. Hold your head up high and get on with your life. It’s a Plan B for sure, but given what you now know about your husband’s character, you deserve the freedom to forge a more authentic life.
[/quote]

Thank you for supporting. You were right not getting married, it's not worth it if you are a successful attorney. In my view, after so many years of loving, trusting, caring,  marriage is just a contract to combine 2 incomes to grow a child. When the child grows up, the contract ceases. Some decide to extend, if there is still commitment, friendship and love left. But many grow apart, and the situation when the wife chooses "stay at home" route creates the environment for the wife and the husband grow apart. Husbands never appreciate the work women do at home, and any other woman would look more attractive, successful etc if there is no integrity in his own character.

If you still can, I very much recommend adopting or having a donor child. Childbearing and first 2 years kill sexual desires, and you won't even need a partner. Then, your child comes your family and friend.[b] I am very grateful to have my son who always hugs, consoles me, comes to me when he knows I am sad. [/b]

My son is my main positive "take out" from my failed marriage. [/quote]

Oof, that's a heavy burden to lay on a 15 yo boy.  That poor kid.  [/quote]

No kidding.  Op sounds like a mess [/quote]

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