Reply to Friend who shunned me when I divorced has gotten in touch

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What exactly did she say when she contacted you?[/quote]  This. And then we can tell you how we'd respond. It really depends on what she said.  And was it by text, email, or did she leave a voicemail?[/quote]

OP here. It was via text. Aside from pandemic-related pleasantries, it said, "You may have heard that J and I have made the painful decision to divorce. This has really thrown me for a loop, and I could really use a friend to talk to right now. Do you have some time to chat in the next few days?"

[/quote]

I'd respond something like, "I'm sorry to hear that you are divorcing.  I know how hard it can be.  But I don't think I'm the right person for you to talk to.  Five years ago, when I was going through the same thing, you and other people I thought were my friends dropped me and ignored my attempts to reach out, and it was very hurtful.  I haven't even seen you in two years.  I'm in a good place now, but I can't be part of your support system.  I wish you the best of luck."[/quote]

This is a perfect response. I’m very impressed, PP!

OP, this woman was a jerk then and she’s a jerk now. After a long silence, she texts you with a request for a favor and doesn’t even bother to ask you about yourself in any meaningful way? (Or even any casual way?) She is selfish and she wants to use you. When she’s gotten what she wants from you she will dump you again. Let us know what you wind up doing and whether she responds and tries to excuse herself! If she does, don’t fall for it![/quote]

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