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[quote=Anonymous]Neither of mine can even be cordial at family events. One tried to kill us because she is unstable. BIL's refusal to muzzle his b- cost him his relationship with any DN and his sibling. He just schedules himself to be gone all the time for work rather than deal with her.

BIL & SIL call for a money, a job, or to say something denigrating to make themselves feel better when they are feeling insecure. Only lonely, bitter and MASSIVELY insecure people behave this way so it's no loss in my opinion.

The other SIL threatens suicide every time my brother tries to break things off. She lied about covid exposure and knowingly exposed our elderly parents and my family, too. She snuck into MY house in the middle of the night so we told her to gtfo-she isn't welcome here.

Anything with either SIL is absolutely my business because it effects me and is always somehow directed at me even if I have not seen these people in over a year! If someone screams at or is otherwise endangering, abusing, or taking advantage of my family then I intervene.

Generally it is the same old "why won't she give me access to her beach house" or "give us the $" gift that BIL's wife thinks she deserves (because $500 isn't enough to satisfy her greed) and she assumes I'm holding up the purse strings.

I always ask SO if there is anyone he wants to send an xmas card to. He says no. He doesn't call them. They call when they want something like BIL's wife asking where I got my lingerie on SO's birthday call after she's ben telling everyone I'm a slut. I'm not and never have been (but she was, she said while drunk) and what does any of that matter more than a decade into our respective relationships? Just wtf with these people.

Trying to shame me with the rest of the hyper-conservative and religious extended family and then asking for my assistance is messed up. I didn't have any suggestions that would fit her budget anyway.

If they were normal then I'd love to have a close relationship but I spent years doing what my family does-generous, supportive, etc, like a card and gift for graduation and babies-and realized they were just swine and damaging our mental health by interacting with them much at all. [/quote]

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