Reply to Fiance wants to elope, I want a wedding

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP doesn’t actually say he wants a wedding because it’s important to HIM. Everything he says is about his family’s opinion - this would not fly with his family, sign of disrespect to his family.

What does “a traditional family” mean in this context? Does OP refer to some cultural aspect? If so, what is the specific culture that is disrespected by a lack of large wedding? Does OP’s fiancée come from the same culture? If not, what other kinds of cultural expectations will exist for her in this marriage? Or was “a traditional family” a dig at the fiancée?

She is right that it would be cheaper and that y’all wouldn’t have to wait. I can understand why someone wouldn’t want to wait. I can also understand someone who is willing to wait for something they want done a particular way for a particular reason. [b]I just don’t think that “not disrespecting DH’s family” is a great reason for waiting 2 years to have an expensive wedding that neither person getting married really wants themselves.[/b] DH’s family doesn’t get a vote here. [/quote]

What OP is saying is that it's more important to please his family than to marry his fiancée.  His fiancée doesn't want to wait yet another year to be married, suggesting that the marriage is more important to her than the wedding.  OP is saying that the wedding is more important than the marriage, and not even because he really wants a big wedding, but because his family would feel "disrespected" by the lack of one.  Which suggests a whole other set of issues.

A compromise might be a small ceremony with immediate family only so that they don't have to wait another year.  What compromise is OP offering?[/quote]

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