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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Thank you for the words of encouragement and ideas for changes from people who have commented. I really do appreciate it.

Just to get this out there. I am not anti-lockdown at all. I believe in science and I take this virus very seriously. I would not consider what we are doing in the US to be a lockdown. I honestly wish that schools had been given priority over a long list of non-essentials (casinos, bars, indoor dining and gyms, etc). And I never said that I considered myself to be in a lockdown. I said that I was depressed and drained about my kids' behavior and that we miss the various outlets that we had pre-pandemic. Someone else mentioned that this all feels so much harder now that the weather is cold, and it's really true. We do spend a lot of time outside, but it's more challenging with the cold weather, especially with a 2 year old; he gets cold even all bundled up. We don't feel comfortable hanging around malls or any indoor places, unless it's necessary.

One of my main priorities that I am pursuing right now is to try to get my oldest into a part-time preschool program. I am working on that A LOT and making some progress and found a place for $600 a month for 12 hours a week (4 days a week, 3 hrs/day), it doesn't start until April 6th and it's only 10 weeks, but that would be better than nothing. I am also going to work on setting up more regular outdoor playdates. I tried joining a pod earlier on in the fall and didn't find much and a nanny share could work, though I can't imagine having more children and another adult inside our already small house. So I have decided by hell or high water, we will get my daughter into some sort of part-time preschool.

I am also looking into getting back to work for school year 2021-2022 and will need some uninterrupted time to really dive into that. As for immediate employment, as someone else pointed out there is no way in hell I could pay for full-time daycare for 2 kids on working as a tutor, pod leader, or substitute teacher. About 4 months ago, I put both of them on waitlists for 2 "affordable" full-time daycares, which would be about $3000/month for the two of them if I can get off the long waitlists at either place. The other places that have vacancy would be $4200/month for the two of them. The other big unknown is whether or not schools will be fully open when my daughter is supposed to start kindergarten next year. Without knowing if she will be in school in person everyday with Montgomery County and whether I would be teaching in person or hybrid, it's a tricky situation.

Some things I have already done that I'd like to share with others who are struggling: 
-I am on an antidepressant (started about 2 months ago) and it has helped tremendously. I really wish I had started months earlier before things got so bad for me in terms of my emotional health. 
-I took a free online class through Parent Encouragement Program (http://pepparent.org/) and am going to pay to take another. It was excellent. 
-I bought noise cancelling, bluetooth headphones so I can listen to audiobooks, podcasts while I clean, cook and/or while kids are watching TV.

Other great ideas that people mentioned that I will incorporate/work on: 
-daytime baths for the kids
-drive through lunch w kids
-figure out w my husband a time each day during the day when I get out of the house alone for 20-30 mins
-day trip somewhere w kids 
- try to find a covid-friendly babysitter to be able go out on a date w husband 
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