Reply to Staying together for kids, do you plan for future?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP--[b]does your spouse know you are only staying for the kids? [/b]Is this is a mutual agreement? I imagine no future topics should come up if you are planning a divorce anyway. (Also, your spouse might not be okay "staying for the kids" if you plan to leave later.) If you want our plan to work (stay for the kids and not have your spouse be upset by it), I would not discuss the future at all. I think this attitude is very unfair to your spouse, by the way, if they are not in agreement. You are wasting years of their life.[/quote]

Well, we have a dead bedroom, sleep in separate rooms and barely speak to each other. So I kind of assume that could be the only reason we're still together. I've tried to discuss amicably divorcing, or how this type of dysfunction could play out over the long run but they're not very communicative.

I feel like even if I want to stay for the kids, how would that work if we can't discuss the future, particularly thinking about things like retirement? 
[/quote]

When you get a divorce you get half his retirement and he gets half of yours. [/quote]

We both agreed not to touch each other’s retirement.[/quote]

Same here. They were close to even.[/quote]

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