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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Staying together for kids, do you plan for future?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1-4 make zero sense. I don't know how you think money and standard of living is the same when you literally have to buy a new house and have the expenses of a second home, but with less income. Eventually one or both parents find a new bf/gf and they come with families, even if neither parent remarries. [/quote] Because all of the money I was saving by being married per month just sitting in the bank literally pays for my house and everything else. There is not less income. I had income. He had income. [b]While married, my income was mostly saved sitting in the bank and we mostly lived off his[/b]. I paid for all of my own stuff and all of the kids stuff and all of the kids chlidcare while married and the rest sat in the bank. We lived below our means while married. So the money is just shifted. It is not a waste to have my own house. I now have my own financial independence and an appreciating asset with full control over my financial future instead of him telling me what do to with my money (ie, me putting it all in the bank and doing nothing with it). We kept our own retirements. There is not less money. It is divided. Only people who live below their means in the first place can make this work. He wanted to buy a $1 million plus house when we were married. I said no. Thank God. Yes, then we would have had to sell it...but that is ridicuous in the first place. We bought less (and I did not want to buy at all) and it enabled us to be able to find a way for one person to keep the house and me to buy my own property. It is a little more expensive but it is not drastic at all. Savings rate for everything is the same.[/quote] Your situation is unusual. But you still are ignoring that divorce causes your expenses to go up and forced you to spend what had previously been savings to afford to have two different households. That means you are saving less and there will be less for all those other things. You may be wealthy enough that this isn't a huge deal and you can still afford most things -- a luxury most do not have -- but there is still less to go around given your added expenses.[/quote] Oh, and let me put in in perspective for you. [b]The amount of my former savings is the exact same amount as my mortgage[/b]. College and retirement savings the same. I have to be a little careful buying frivolous purchases. That is pretty much it. The true only additional expense in the divorce is this: ultitlies for a second home (I was paying my own health insurance, my own car payment, my own car insurance, my own cell phone bill--and his actually--during my marriage). So, my extra financial cost of divorce? That is my cable bill, my water bill, my electric bill and gas bill. We are talkiing about $350 a month. That is $4200 a year. This is not a major financial set back. At all. For women who worked their entire marriage, it is just spiltting money differently rather than the huge financial loss people think it is. It is not like I was not working the entire time. [/quote] Okay, so your savings is taking the hit. You are still down [b]24k a year [/b]because of the divorce. Yes, your house might be accruing interest, but it's a sunk cost until you sell. Your income stayed the same, your savings went down, your expenses went up. Like 99.9% of all divorces. Not that special.[/quote] I am not down 24k a year. I have my own property. It's mine. I'm free. [/quote]
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