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[quote=Anonymous]I grew up in the 80’s in and around DC. My father was and still is the sort of man who thinks that he should not have to cook or clean. In his own home he does things like major landscaping work, light repairs, taking care of vehicles. My mother was often overwhelmed by working, caring for children, and keeping house. To the extent she volunteered, it was always at church —vestry, taking communion to the sick. Neither of my parents did PTA stuff, Girl Scouts, sports involvement. They had friends in the neighborhood and expressed empathy for their hard times but never did anything much for folks. However, both of my parents believed strongly in charitable giving.

As an adult I am much more plugged into my community, but I’m still not a huge doer or joiner. I’ll offer assistance to do small projects in friends’ homes or gardens. I try to show care through hospitality, hosting friends for tea, dinner, or drinks whenever I can (and when a pandemic does not interfere). I am often poor at organizing things and following through on details, so meal trains and showers are not a personal strength. I do always try to send gifts in times both happy and sad —relationship break-ups, baby births, graduations, deaths.  When I bake, I make extras and drop them off with a neighbor or two. I have a small, 1 hr./wk volunteer gig that I’ve kept up for the past couple of years. So I guess I’ve found a middle ground between showing people I care and preserving time for myself and my own family.[/quote]

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