Reply to Surprised how the tone has changed from save it to divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]IMO the tone has changed because social media has become prevalent in the last decade. Twitter was founded in 2006. Facebook founded in 2004.

People can now see what kind of stress their friends, family, relatives are under with pictures and videos of all the incidents. They can also see what life is like in a happy and unhappy marriage.

Honestly - look at this video of a mother and child interacting and tell me this family is 'healthier' than someone who decided to divorce an argumentative spouse and take the children to a healthier environment.

[twitter]https://twitter.com/AdrienneElizabL/status/1351671673091715073[/twitter][/quote]

I agree that social media has shifted the tone, but not for the reasons you say.  People only post the happy stuff.  So people make their lives look happier on social media.  That causes other people to think that other marriages and families are happier, and I think it makes divorce seem more desirable.  Why stay in an unhappy situation when look how happy all of these other people are?  I think social media has actually raised the expectations of marriage and relationships in an unrealistic and unhealthy way.

Divorce happened in the 1990s.  And divorce isn't bad.  Sometimes problems in a marriage cannot be overcome.  But I think that more people were encouraged socially to work on their marriage pre-2006ish because there were more realistic views of marriage.  A lot of sitcoms portrayed all of the downsides of marriages (boredom, sexual issues, stresses of life), and that gave people reasonable expectations.  You also had shows like Sex in the City that portrayed how difficult dating is.

Fast forward to the rise of Facebook and Instagram, and everyone posts their staged happy photos that make everything seem rosy.  Married people make their lives seem happy and fulfilling.  Singles make their lives seem filled with exciting travel and going out with the girls.  Basically, anyone going through a rough patch in a marriage is going to assume the grass is greener outside of their marriage, and it makes it that much harder for them to put in effort and ride out the rough times.

I think there's been a boom in dating apps as well.  I've been seeing so many more commercials than ever this past year.  When there is a profit to be made, the tone shifts.  So people make a lot of money off of people dating.  People make a lot of money off of weddings.  The incentive then is not to encourage long marriages.  The incentive is to keep people getting married and divorced and dating and married again.  No one makes money off of long, solid marriages.  While divorce can really set people back financially, a lot of other people make money off of that, too.[/quote]

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