Reply to Boyfriend won't leave ex-wife alone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous](Boyfriend does thing that everyone agrees isn’t right like lick the bottom of shoes)
GF: licking the bottom of shoes is gross, please stop
BF: but I like licking the bottom of shoes, I’m going to continue 
GF: but everyone agrees that licking shoes isn’t normal 
BF: it’s important to me, so I’m going to keep doing it

Three years later...
GF: (to DCUM) my bf licks the bottom of shoes, that’s weird, right?
DCUM: —various opinions about shoe licking, but mostly it’s gross and should stop
GF: What should I do about it? I keep telling him to stop, I don’t like it but he keeps doing it
DCUM: you have to accept it because he’s not going to stop or breakup with him
GF: but I don’t want to breakup with him, I just want the shoe licking to stop
DCUM: you’ve asked, he’s refused. So accept or move on
GF: but you don’t understand, shoe licking is gross and he should stop? Why should I break up with him when he’s wrong?
DCUM: because he’s not going to change
GF: I don’t like your response, you obviously don’t understand

So OP, what do we want to tell you? Regardless of whether talking that much to his ex is weird or not, he’s not going to change. If there was something to be done or said that would change his mind, I would assume you would’ve done it or said it by now.

It’s obvious he gets emotional support from her that he’s not getting from you. There is no magical elixir he can drink that will stop this. And what we are ALL trying to tell you is you have 2 options. (There is NO OTHER option like blow him more, or cook him an amazing meal, or convince him he is wrong.) The options are: 100% accept or leave.

Sorry if that’s not what you want to hear. But asking more people, telling us we don’t understand will not change things. You asked him to stop, he said NO. With that information, what are you going to do? [/quote]

+1000 kudos, PP.  you encapsulated it perfectly.

You have the info you need, OP.  Why aren’t you acting on it?[/quote]

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