Reply to Wife resents me for not earning more

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand why she can't drop down to a federal attorney position and maybe you get a transfer to HQ in DC once she lands that position.

Also, you guys are aggressively paying down the debt and that's great but it's causing stress so why not pay it down a little slower to make room for her to take a lower-paying job?  You don't need to be on a 10 year plan, you can be on the 25 year repayment plan.  That makes sense to me.

Two GS15/14 feds in the DC area can live pretty well, that's a little higher HHI than DW and I have.  We live further out but with telework it's not really a big deal to commute in 2-3 days per week.[/quote]

Yes.  I am a stepped out GS-14 on a complex pay scale with bonuses and make $175k.

My spouse when Independent can make up to $500k.  He was Independent for over a decade or more and it was not good for the family--the stress...which manifested in his personality over time, anger, entitlement, etc.

We did not need that kind of $.  He finally made the realization that there are much more important things in life and thankfully realized it before our kids were fully grown and out of the house.

He is not a Fed, but became an employee instead of his own independent company.  It dropped his salary closer to $250k--but the amount of time it's given back is priceless.  He also can work at home anytime.  Right now he is every day.  The hours are much shorter.  He never made family dinner prior.

Growing up very poor, my husband saw his worth in $ figures only.  He had something to prove and became blind-sided. It didn't make him happier, just way more stress and less time for anything else.

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