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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Where did the OP write that she is losing drinking time? Did she provide an update? Am I more blind than I think?[/quote]

I never did, some posters just decided to bring their own biases to bear and rip me a new one :(. I'm the OP. I don't care about "losing drinking time." I do care about suddenly being told what to do, even if it's as harmless as having drinks with friends outdoors once a week. It's really hard. I feel I'm being watched. And it's not just me - he makes snide comments about this own friends having beers outdoors too, and made some comment about a booze commercial last night.[/quote]

I see. I think that some pp has a serious issue if she wrote such a thing. Sorry for thinking it was you.
My grandpa was an abusive alcoholic and my mom had a "nervous breakdown" every time dad drank, hence creating a huge fight. She expected a fight and abuse, and eventually, she did everything she could to cause a fight and a major scene. Hence I used to expect any gathering with friends and family with trepidation and anxiety. Many went great though, but even if mom did not cause a scene in front of guests, she put such insane pressure on me and my sister that I hated gatherings for a long time.
DH's father also had an abusive dad, who was also a bit of a drunk, at least according to FIL. FIL makes a huge deal about any holiday making every single holiday into enormous drama. He will not attend, he hates these things. So he signs up to work for holidays, but then after that, he creates a huge scene and stops answering his cell when we call to wish him a happy Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. Then texting us that he might as well be dead with guilt trips. Somehow he is yet again making sure that he has a miserable day and doesn't see it is all of his own creation. When he does attend holidays, he makes some scenes during the gathering, without fail. Clearly not this past year.
My point in writing this is that from what I learned from FIL and mom is that they refused to get help for their issues with their parents and made all of us nervous in turn, creating generational apprehension about a glass of wine! My sister lives on the second floor of my mom's house(dad passed) and will have wine on the weekend, she is not a drinker, she barely drinks, and yet she never has wine in front of my mom. This has become so bad at one point that mom was so nervous and having us set the table!!! for Christmas 3 days ahead! Funny, right? How these things become a self-fulfilling prophecy!
Anyway, sorry about the War and Peace here. I hope this helps you understand your DH's reasons for this, and that perhaps you and he find some help he needs to and perhaps you too, to understand where he is coming from. It would be great if he could work on his issues before your kids, if you have them now or in the future, end up like my sister and me and DH to some extent. Scared of every gathering and worried about mom and dad having a huge fight.[/quote]

Thank you - OP[/quote]

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