Reply to Being a working parent (during non-pandemic times)

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Reply to "Being a working parent (during non-pandemic times) - is it as bad as it seems?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Literally the most important thing to consider: will your spouse be a 50/50 partner or not? Many married couples decide to have kids and then one parent ends up doing 80% of the work (I’m talking about in families where there are two working parents.)

That is...not desirable or sustainable. The only way it works (without either spouse feeling resentment) is if there is a somewhat equal balance of both childcare and house related duties. [/quote]

This is maybe one of the better points made. And being "excited to be a dad!!" does not an equal partner make. Have some really tough convos about how you will prioritize both your careers (if that's important to you). Sometimes it's hard to know, I've heard of moms where the husband helped around the house before baby but after baby had a lot of assumptions on what moms do vs dad. So how are your partners assumptions/what are their experiences in your family of origin?[/quote]

Sure but if you stay home, most men (and women) are going to assume you’re the default parent and in charge of the household.  If you don’t want to slide into this role, then don’t quit your job.  Once you are in charge of everything, it’s very hard for you to get your husband to step up.  I have a few friends who have become SAHMs and they seem surprised that the burden of childcare and housework is on them.  [/quote]

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