Reply to my husband forgets some critical things like oven, door locks etc...

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m kind of like that. No ADD, just sort of “absent minded professor” tendencies. It’s worse when there’s a lot on my mid (rocking it at work, small kids, etc). This tendency has never led to ever putting my kids in real danger, beyond a couple incidents where I did things like lose my keys when out 45 minutes away with baby and DH out of town. Not ideal, but we survived.

This really isn’t something I have a lot of power to change about myself. Sure, getting some systems in place (place to put keys and wallet, door locking routine) help but really, one of the things I love and appreciate most about my spouse is that he accepts this is part of who I am and lovingly accommodates. When I called him locked out with baby he did not freak out (at least externally) but helped me problem solve. When I lose my wallet, he cheerfully helps me look for it. He’s the one who locks up at night, including checking that cars are locked (I’m notoriously bad at that and cars in our neighborhood get riffled through). I know he is biting his tongue, and he definitely (lovingly) makes jokes about this part of me, but the fact that he’s willing to help, not just criticize, is part of what makes our marriage work well and I love him all the more for it. I also see that he does that for me, and thus try to do my best, whereas if he just critiqued I think I’d be defensive about it and have more of an IDGAF attitude.

Occasionally he’ll make suggestions on how I can do better (“what if we put a basket by the door...”) which I try to be gracious about, but when he does it comes across to me as condescending and raises my hackles even though I know he’s right. Just adding that in case you see the same reaction from your H.[/quote]

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