Reply to Advice for a west coaster moving to the east coast

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the "passive-aggressive" versus "direct" phrasing is a question of framing, and not factually-based. My DH, who jokingly calls himself an "east coast escapee" at times (we are on the west coast, he grew up in MA) says that he thinks folks in New England and NY say they are "direct" but what they mean is that they are "unnecessarily rude just for the sake of being mean." Of course, he moved out west for college and never once looked back, so I think his opinion is skewed. Similarly, what east coast folks call "passive aggressive," west coast folks call "basic courtesy."

I grew up in California and what I have seen is that some people come to California and just absorb it and flourish, while others never feel comfortable. I get it, I don't think I'd ever feel settled on the east coast, but I think there are some folks who move east and just take to it. Not sure which one you will be, OP! Honestly, it's probably better to be a person who can enjoy both -- shows better mental flexibility and a healthier outlook.[/quote]

On the other hand, as an east coaster who made the move out west, I found the people unspeakably rude, and lacking in basic courtesy.  A lot of things I would expect on the east coast, like people looking you in the eye when speaking and seeming honest, forthright, and like they respected you, just seemed to fall by the wayside.  A lot of the people i interacted with seemed like they couldnt care less about a person or even viewed them with contempt.

I suppose it is a matter of perspective, but I noticed most big morning and talk show hosts come from the east coast and seem to be imported to the west coast.  So it seems like that friendly vibe is one people get from east coasters more often than west coasters[/quote]

The whole point is that your personal experience isn't representative. People have been different experiences and preferences, and so words like "rude" versus "direct" are a matter of opinion not fact. That's okay. Your talk show host thing seems outright weird, though.

In any event, mentally healthy and robust folks can live and thrive anywhere. It's a negative thing to negatively characterize a whole coast, not a positive thing. It's not something people should be boasting about. It shows a very limited world view. [/quote]

Sure, but we can also have objective ideas of manners and/or niceness.  Most people would agree that saying "Thank you" is an act of politeness and omitting is rude.  Most people would agree that lying to someone and backstabbing them is not nice.  Words have meanings.

I dont have a "talk show host thing", just an observation that most of the most popular radio/ morning hosts have originated from the east coast.  Not sure why that would be "weird", unless you're just expressing a general displeasure with this fact.  Which would seem to stem more from it contradicting your assertion that west coasters are just as friendly and convivial as east coasters.  When it would appear that, based on which hosts get chosen and build large fanbases, does not appear to be the case.  Not based on general opinion, at least- which is the tool you would use to judge social skills/abilities [/quote]

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