Reply to Is this gaslighting? And why does he do it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is not gaslighting. He is pedantic and somewhat stubborn, which I know because my husband is the same way. However, it rarely upsets me (he's always been this way). Occasionally I get exasperated, especially if he's just in a mood and is nitpicking everything. But in those situations, I just give him a very specific look and he says, "Am I being pedantic again?" and I say "Yes!" and we both laugh because we've been married a long time this is just how we are.

I recommend finding some humor in these interactions and learning to let each other know when your little annoyances (we all have them) are crossing a line.[/quote]

I have been married to him for 21 years. He has never, ever, in all that time, admitted to a single flaw or mistake. He points out mine though. In fact, he gets quite angry when I'm wrong about the stupidest things (he became quietly enraged last week when I said I didn't think the space heater in the basement had a remote control--I had never laid eyes on it, how was I to know?). [/quote]

Severe depression or a form of repressed trauma and growing hostility from you.

He hasn’t worked in 7rs
He has been unable to respond to authorship email guidance
It weighs heavily on him if he lost children due to work or home inadequacy
It sounds like misplaced anger that is growing.

He needs help. Especially while locked down at home. It is exasperating everything.
If he sits on a trust fund he may have felt a stronger need to prove his value/worth/intelligence
Amd he is getting old. Old habits die hard.
[/quote]

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