Reply to What is a better number of kids? 3 or 4?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People who claim they have 4 because they were one of 4 and loved it nee to  tell   if they were the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th child,  what sex they are compared to their siblings, and they age difference.[/quote]

+100

I am one of 4. I’m #3. We were two sets: the “older kids” (a boy and a girl) and the “younger kids” (a boy and a girl).

Having another “younger kid” did not make me feel better as a kid. I love him but we aren’t close now, and as a child I resented being lumped in with the baby and excluded from the older kids just because my parents liked to divide us that way. Also, it’s not great to be referred to as “the little kids” well into adolescence— my younger brother and I were infantilized for a long time and it wasn’t great for our development.

My older sister is the only one of us to have a big family. She is also and has always been the favorite. She doesn’t understand how lots of kids means lots of missing out on parental attention and resources because she didn’t. Now I see how she favorites her own kids and I see her repeating a pattern she doesn’t understand.[/quote]

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