Reply to How do 2 full time working parents make it work

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "How do 2 full time working parents make it work"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents live with us.

We also have a cleaning woman who comes twice a week.  And we have a woman who cooks and does meal prep for us, once a week.  I have a person who also picks up our groceries and does outside errands.  I also have a lawn/landscaping guy and another person who is my general contractor for any construction and repair work.   I pay the first three anywhere from $25-30 an hour.  The others are based on projects.

I also pay for some extras like coffee/tes/meals, gas, hand sanitizers, gloves, masks, and flu shots for their entire family as well as holiday bonuses. Finally  All of this does not cost me more than $15K per year.   Plus my parents are there to keep an eye and this keeps them engaged and healthy, plus they are looked after because they are with us.   The savings when you have a good team of staff is amazing and worthwhile.  [/quote]

Are your family from another country because this level of staff and parental help is not typical in the US, even amongst the upper middle class. Cleaning ladies, nannies and yard work yes, but the rest seems excessive.[/quote]

No, my parents immigrated in the 50s as students.  They have lived the majority of their lives here.  I was born here.  This level of staff and parental help is actually essential in the US (even if it is not typical for White people) if working moms  want to continue to remain in the work-force.   Its not as if the govt or corporate policies will change anytime soon to make it easier for parents and women!

Growing up, my parents managed to have careers and raised two kids without any support.  Parenthood was  hard because my mom and dad were forever doing the balancing act. I knew several things for myself - I wanted kids,  I wanted a career, and I wanted to look after my parents. I wanted to do all of these three things well and I wanted to have a stress-free life. Having a large house with seperate space for my parents and for my own family, meant that we all could be together and supporting each other. Having a good amount of staffing support means that the logistics of running a home, of taking care of kids, of socializing (our friends, my parents friends), of taking care of health (ours, parents), of doing errands etc - does not become a burden on anyone. I am always on the lookout for people who can make our lives easier and have a black book of tried and tested service providers.

Of course, this works for our family only because we are functional and close-knit. We all appreciate each other and we all have our space and resources. We also know that if we had gone solo, we would not have had the advantages that pooling our resources have given us.  We have never been more thankful about our setup than during this pandemic.  As I watch working moms and dads struggle, especially now, I think that having a setup like ours is essential to not only survive but thrive. [/quote]

I'm glad that all worked out for you and you got what you wanted.
It doesn't for everyone.    Some people's parents are still working full time.   Some people's parents are no longer alive or in poor health and can not care for grandchildren.  Some people's parents are too "busy" traveling/golfing/etc and don't want to care for grandchildren.[/quote]

My dad and mom were still working when we started to live together. My mom and dad had significant health issues (dad had a heart transplant) before we had kids. Mom also had her challenges (arthritis, BP, diabetes). When our babies were born, we hired night nurses and doulas.  We hired a nanny/general helper when kids were at home.  However, my mom was there to supervise everyone.  Even with the health issues of my parents or other challenges that our family has faced, having everyone stay together has worked well because we all are each other's support.  And two aspects of daily living which are essential but requires a lot of effort - a well run household (cleaning, cooking, grocery, laundry, organizing, trash out, bills paid)  and  care of people (childcare, eldercare and convalescent care) - actually works when there are more hands and more staffing.  In the long run, the entire family has to be of one mind and realize that even with challenges, this model is a win-win for everyone.

Yes, I am aware that not every set of parent or grandparent get along with each other or even care. My family is lucky and we are happy about what we created.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics