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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I mean, I feel like it could still happen for you if that’s what you want.

My favorite quote on this is: “there ain’t no settling down without some settling for.”

We all compromise when we choose a partner, house, job. I don’t know you but assuming you’re sane, employed, and not fat, I know there are met who would marry you. [/quote]

Wow, the “not fat” part is so offensive.

Most American adults are overweight...yet they tend to marry. So you are wrong and extremely offensive. Picture inserting another adjective there (like race or ethnicity, or education level). Why is it okay to insult /discriminate based upon how much you weigh.?You sound like a smug jerk.[/quote]

I’m the PP who wrote that. I don’t intend it to be unkind. I’m a fat woman myself. I say it because-and the data bear this out-it is hard for fat women in the dating game. It just is. It’s not impossible, but it is hard. Being fat really limits your options when dating. It’s just a fact and I’ve lived it.

The settling thing comes from Dan Savage:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.upworthy.com/amp/a-chronically-single-person-asked-dan-savage-for-relationship-advice-heres-his-no-nonsense-reply-2637293053

and Lori Gottlieb:

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/03/marry-him/306651/

[/quote]

Not the PP, and I hear you. There are a lot of women in my family that are obese. Every single one of them have had just as many opportunities foe love and attraction as any other. The major difference I can say is the women who own their body image and have true self confidence have partners that love them. Seriously. 3 married, one is a player — it’s not a matter of attraction. I suspect the self-criticism is off putting to other people because it seems as if you are resigned to not liking who you are. It is no different than any other poster who says “I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m poor, I’m uneducated, I’m too tall, I’m abused, I’m a victim, I’m whatever.” We all have something. It’s not about perfection, it is owning who you are and loving your self journey. When you do that it is easier to attract a partner. I also know most men are not as harsh on women as we are on ourselves.

I’m not attempting to invalidate your experience, I haven’t walked in your shoes. But I can say with confidence that the difference in attitude for the women I know who are obese is directly correlated with their self-image. You seem like you want to get ahead of the potential “insult” of being fat, so you put it out there before anyone else can — assuming they would. Without seeing your face I could identify a trait that is reflective of another person that projects insecurity even if you do t realize you’re feeling it. There are plenty of articles I can find around that but what really matters is how you feel, not one persons write up about it.

I’m sending this post with as much love and respect as I can. Own everything about yourself without degrading yourself, even subtly. Everyone has something but it hard to share your sh*t if the other person can’t manage theirs. [/quote]

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