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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are downsides to a hotel too though. It means you have to be back at the hotel for the kids’ bedtimes, and then have to keep the room dark and quiet after they fall asleep. In my family that would mean missing out on the most fun part of our family get-togethers - after dinner when the kids are asleep and the adults drink/play games/chat/watch a movie etc. [/quote]

Great point.  [/quote]

Excellent point. Which is why we always tough it out.  The parents get the bed, with one or two little kids in with us.  Then all the other kids are in sleeping bags and air mattresses on the floor.  If they're old enough then a bunch of kids can have a sleep over in the family room and parents take individual shifts to be up and make sure they are all okay.  I dunno why but it works for our family.  We'd rather be all together even if it is a little physically unconventional or uncomfortable.[/quote]

See, the reason it works for your family is that you enjoy the wine drinking/game playing/chatting that happens when the kids get to bed.

In a lot of families, basically the ones where the elderly relatives try to dictate everything - that’s not happening. Grandma closed the kitchen, remember!

Basically, I keep harping on this point, because my life got so much better and my family interactions got much more satisfying when I started focusing on what I wanted/needed. Basically:

We’ve decided to stay in a hotel. Everyone we’ll get a better night sleep, dad!

We’re going out to lunch because the kids do better when they eat at noon!

We’re thinking of going to the zoo tomorrow! Do you want to join us?

The visit where ^ that happened went well.

The visit where we were all trapped in a condo, my parents tried to make one can of soup for 5 people for lunch, my parents didn’t get dressed before noon, wondered why 7:30 PM dinner reservations didn’t work for kids who normally go to bed at 8 PM...

You gotta speak up/stand up and just be say no, that’s not really going to work (while being nice about it)[/quote]

+1 Your post brought back memories of being hungry regularly when visiting. My mother didn't bother buying/making food because she used the excuse that she didn't know we "allowed" DC to eat. So we'd come to town and have to go buy groceries first thing and take care of all eating in and eating out for the whole visit, which is extra work when you're away from home.

DH's parents would eat everything so late. And would be so deeply offended if we brought food to fill in the gaps. We did anyway because we were so hungry.

The best thing we ever did was start to get a hotel room.[/quote]

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