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Reply to "Inheritance/gift to child and spouse or just child?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Professionals in the field will tell you child only. [/quote] So people with entirely co-mingled finances would be expected to set up a solo account? I get why that's smart for asset protection but IRL it seems cold AF, like the person sees the writing on the wall. [/quote] This is what my husband did. I hate him and his parents and it truly ruined my adult life with him and didn't make for a happy household for our children. Three more years and I'm out, and I will find some way to sue him for something, since we have had to spend every dime that I have earned while he sits on his trust funding not spending a dime of it without a care in the world (he doesn't have a job). You rich people are horrible and should be left to die alone. My husband and his parents will have only each other and I hope they are miserable in their old age. When my kids are adults, they will know exactly who these people are and I promise you will never give them the time of day.[/quote] +1 My father died when I was young (16) and my mother died when I was 28. My inheritance paid for my DH's grad school and allowed me (ie us) to not pay child care for the 3 years I was home with our twins. It didn't make sense to work as day care would eat the earnings I made and then some. Well, DH became ex DH at 48 when his alcoholism became out of control and he started to hit. I'll never see a dime of his very large inheritance and that's not fair.[/quote] All these stories just confirm for me that even in the best of marriages men use money to control or punish their wives/ex-wives. [/quote] My husband had no money. His ex cheated and she took the kids way back when 50/50 was rare. She always used the kids and money to control him. There was no amount of money (above the child support and alimony) that was ever enough. And, then she'd use money as an excuse to keep the kids from visiting or talking to him. And, he'd go to court and the judges would just tell her to allow visits with no consequences. You can have a story for everything. This poster should not get inheritance. Its not her family. Just like if he got inheritance he should not get it.[/quote] So you really think it's okay for me to be working, paying all the bills, while husband doesn't work, sponges off my income, while his money just sits there making hundreds of thousands every year? He doesn't have to worry about retirement and [b]the only way I won't be destitute in retirement is if I stay with him. [/b]How is this okay? I really didn't have a choice though. We bought our house together, paid it off, then he quit working the following year. I could never afford to live even remotely comfortably if I had to go buy another house. A house at half the value of our little shack would not be livable. [/quote] You're an adult. No one is forcing you to pay his bills. It sounds like you're staying because you think he's going to support you in retirement? What makes you think he'll suddenly get generous when you decide to retire? The only leverage you have now is the children. If you split up, a court will order him to pay child support. Once the kids are 18, you have to split the marital property and he can leave you with basically no consequences, assuming that his trust specifies that it is protected from divorce. FWIW, if the husband was a SAHM, would people feel differently about this situation? [/quote]
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