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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just had my first child and my miL is a lactation consultant. She gave us a breastfeeding class and I thought - ok that's what LCs do and that's very nice. No. Cut to two hours after the birth my miL is mauling my tits and my child. She came home with us from the hospital and every two hours more tit mauling. I know it's to get milk to come down but really - hands the fuck off. The worst was the second day after birth I developed a severe infection and had to go to the ER. She came there to help with the baby. And, while I was sitting in a room in horrible excruciating pain, with someone vomiting in the next bed, mil came in with a breast pump which she insisted I use. And felt up my tits again for good measure. I cried through the entire thing. I havent let her near me since and refuse to discuss anytiing about my daughters care with her. Honestly, it's completely turned me 
 off to breastfeeding and I still feel so violated I don't want 
to be around her. I'm still doing it Tho[/quote]

Oh my god, that's so terrible, not just as a MIL but as a lactation consultant. I actually want to become a lactation consultant and am a HUGE breastfeeding advocate, but I remember so clearly my feelings as an expecting mom and being scared that somebody would bust into my room and do just that. I think it's just common sense that new moms are feeling vulnerable and need some space and do MUCH better with hands-off help if everything is going well, and hands-on help ONLY if mom asks for it. Unfortunately  someone would be so pushy with ANYONE, let alone someone closely connected to you.

When my sister in law gave birth, I went to visit right away and she knows I am really into breastfeeding, etc. I was so careful not to push my opinion of it on her or to touch her in any way. She totally told me that she'd been having trouble and asked for my help. So I said, "do you want me to sit in while you nurse and see how everything looks?" When I thought she might have a shallow latch, I showed her how to cup the boob on MY breast. She showed me how red her nipples were and I thought I noticed that they were a little bit flat, and that's above my pay grade. I cannot imagine anyone mauling boobs!

And what do you mean to help the milk come down? Two hours after birth? Um, no! I can see her handling your breast (WITH YOUR PERMISSION) in order to help you learn how to massage extra colostrum out (which by the way, I don't personally think is all that necessary) but you don't just go there.

Maybe you should talk to your MIL. I am willing to bet that she was just trying very hard to help you and maybe her heart was in the right place but boy, what an epic fail! If you can bring yourself to do it, sit her down and tell her (a good time would be when she asks about supply) to please take off her professional hat and just be a grandmother. Tell her you felt upset by the way she didn't ask first before getting so physical and that it felt intrusive. And please tell her the truth, that the intrusiveness of it nearly undermined your nursing relationship with your daughter. Because of that, tell her, I'd like you to wait until I ask for your help in the future and let's talk about how cute the baby is, not my supply. Honestly, not only will you feel better getting this off your chest, but you'll seriously help her next victims I mean patients!!!

Thinking back to how guarded and completely vulnerable I felt about breastfeeding, something like that could have COMPLETELY derailed me, too. I'm glad you're still at it. Good work, mama! 
[/quote]

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