Reply to Is my step-DC entitled?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What part of this is “entitled”? She asked for a gift (most kids ask for a gift, and don’t just leave their parents grasping at straws.) Her dad said okay. I don’t see any entitlement there. If you can’t give with a happy heart tell your husband he needs to cough up the money. [/quote]

It’s entitled to expect your stepmom to contribute to a gift when the stepkid doesn’t do anything for her or her half siblings. I’m on team OP. Tell DH he can pony up 100% of the gift.[/quote]

No part of the OP indicates that the birthday girl is expecting this to come from her stepmom.  Based on previous years, where OP says she's given a gift card and DH gave an extravagant present, it seems pretty obvious that the teenager is asking for this present expecting it to come from her dad.  OP and her DH keep separate finances, but she's STILL upset that her stepdd might have a nice 18th birthday on her dad's dime.  That's what makes her nuts (well, that, and bragging about not charging her rent like it's a huge gift).

And I worked full time from about 15 onwards, didn't get big presents, yada yada yada.  Doesn't change that OP sounds like a real jerk.[/quote]

Are we reading the same thread? OP said she’s expected to contribute to this gift. That’s unfair to her.[/quote]

She said "I'm expected to pony up" in the OP, but when asked to clarify whether the gift is coming from her, her DH, or both, she said:

[quote]OP--gave her a $50.00 gift card last year to the clothing store she likes/shops at and a nice card. Last year my husband spent over $600 bucks on her Birthday gifts and a party. I ended up buying all the Birthday gifts for my kids on my own.
[/quote]
So her DH is the one who actually spends the big bucks on the present.  But she doesn't want to kick in at all, because she doesn't like that it's a bigger present than her (presumably significantly younger) kids will get, which she for whatever reason doesn't ask their dad to help pay for.  This is childish nonsense that goes back to bean counting.  Add in the "all of her expenses are covered" language and you've got an OP making a really good case for the Evil Stepmother caricature.  There's a way to do separate finances well, and OP and her husband have not figured it out.  That's not stepDD's fault, and no, asking for a spa day with two friends for a milestone birthday is not "entitled."

The idea that you think it's "unfair" that OP would be asked to contribute to a gift for her stepDD is pretty nuts too.  So now we've got three options: 1) DH spends his own money, OP gives a token amount (what happened last year), and that pisses OP off; 2) DH spends his own money, OP spends nothing but still complains all over this board and assassinate's stepDD's character for asking for a present (what's happening now), or 3) DH and OP go in on a present for stepDD's 18th bday together, amounts to be determined amongst themselves, and that's unfair (according to you).

Have you considered that maybe you're just a bad family member?[/quote]

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