Reply to Annoying Constant Comparison

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't see the other parents as being competitive.  I just see them expressing how they are impressed with what your child is doing.  They are clearly impressed in the context of knowing with their DD can and can not do (probably their only reference point), but really all they were doing was giving you compliments about your DD.[/quote]

This.  OP, I agree your original post came across as an excuse to brag about your child's milestones, but I wanted to offer some constructive feedback.  Hopefully, this will help you in future playdates and being able to not get so worked up over the competition thing.

First, like previous pp said, ask yourself why you got so upset?  Is it that instead of being a cheerleader for your DD doing all these things, the other mom found explanations for why your DD could do them but hers could not?  What's wrong with that?  Did you expect her to go "YAY, WOW your DD can really do those shapes."  (How impressive [clap, clap, clap] your DD can walk.  Hooray!!"  Think about why you needed her support rather than getting so upset that she had "reasons" for it.  Also, try to remember when her DD was rolling over and yours was not.  DId you say "YAY, HOORAY, your DD rolls over" and stop at that, or did you give her a reason (My DD has developmental delays)  It's sort of the same thing.

Second - Next time she comments on what your child does, try understanding her position and give her a comforting words.  Here are some examples from the situations you posted.  She comments about your DD walking, you could say nicely, "Yeah, since DD couldn't crawl (like yours crawls so well), we worked on her walking.  OTherwise she'd still just be lying there immobile.  You're DD crawls around so well, she has no reason to learn to walk right now"  About the cup - "Thanks, we worked with her on learning to drink from an open cup because she wouldn't take the bottle."  Did your DD take o the bottle well?  We had no choice - mess and all - to teach her.  Even you admited to us that the reason she learned to drink from a cup was because she didn't take a bottle.  Did you admit that to your friend?  Because that sounds like you're hiding your DDs inabilities but promoting her accomplishments.  THat's bragging and I'm sure the other mother sensed that

Hope these tips help you in future playdates.  [/quote]

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