Reply to 16-year-old told me he had sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I want to say I am shocked by the liberal views here but I guess I’m not.  I waited until I was 20, by choice, because I knew no matter how much planning you do, things could go wrong, so I wanted to wait until I felt like I was reasonably capable of handling an unplanned pregnancy, STD, etc.  I was also the type that researched the crap out of drugs like marijuana before choosing to partake.  I want to have similar conversations with my children about the value of timing and ability to handle unintended consequences.  So personally I’d be disappointed if my 16 year old made that choice and would let them know that.[/quote]
They will do what their friends do. This is why I send my kids to single gender schools. Less opportunity.

They can still get into trouble, but I'm more likely to see it coming.[/quote]

I think you can instill values in your child that allow them to make choices different than their friends.  I get it’s not the norm but it is possible to teach values around understanding pros and cons and making conscious choices to delay gratification and make choices different than those around you because the risks would significantly alter their ability to achieve certain goals.  I’m not saying it is a perfect choice but it worked for me and I will take a similar path with my child.[/quote]

Yes, but you can instill those values and your child might still make his/her own choices that do not align with yours. It is folly not to acknowledge that. You seem to be equating PPs' reaction of "it is what it is" with a lack of instruction in values, but it may also be the voice of experienced parents saying: sometimes your teen does things he KNOWS you disapprove of and there's not a lot you can do about it. You teach your children to make their own choices and not be led by the crowd? that's great (I'm trying to do that myself), but you have to recognize that a kid who thinks for himself might not follow *your* lead either.[/quote]

This. I was goody-two shoes. Met husband young great relationship all around and have only had sex with him. 
My kids will choose a path. I hope I can instill in them much mentioned here so they are prepared when they face these decisions- but again their path, not mine..... though I do hope they take my lead......
Good luck! [/quote]

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