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[quote=Anonymous]How did the in-laws find out about the husband’s extended work trip?  Who goes on extended work trips with covid, though even without covid, your husband is not being a good husband.

He doesn’t get to leave you to deal with his nutty parents, not when he knows what his parents are capable of.  I’d have a real tough time staying married to a person who did that to me.  I can be gracious for a truly random event, but not when I am put in a situation like the one op describes where the bad guys are coming to my home and my husband isn’t there to deal with it.

To those of you saying op should pretend she’s not home, that is a horrible way to live.  Home is the one place you go when you want/need to feel safe. The in-laws along with her husband are depriving her of that.  It’s also very difficult to do on a physical level especially if you have  adog, kids, neighbors/friends you do want to see.  Plus, nothing is worse then feeling like it isn’t safe for you to open your front door.  I’ve lived it.

She also shouldn’t stay with a friend or have a friend stay with her, this isn’t the sort of problem you visit upon another person.  If op came home and found cockroaches the size of puppies, then yes, ask to stay with a friend, but involving a friend to serve as a buffer between op and crazy people… no.  Not to mention, these crazy people are op’s family too and I wouldn’t want to be the friend who has to protect op from Grandma then be nice to grandma when I saw her at a school event, a holiday event, a whatever.  It’s a terrible thing to do to a friend from an emotional perspective as well as a safety perspective.  Friends don’t have magical superpowers which will protect them from a bad actor, i.e. they can’t do anything that the op can’t do.

Plus, I’m not about to protect an adult who has chosen to stay married to a husband who literally leaves her to deal with crazy.  I don’t benefit from the marriage, it isn’t my job to protect the op because she does. Call me mean, but my emotional health and physical safety matter too.

Deffinately call the police if the in-laws show up.  It’s troubling you’d even have to ask this question based on what you’ve described.

I’d go a couple steps further and get a restraining order.  I’d also call your husband and tell him you need him to come home.  Then I’d discuss the marriage.  I’d leave him if he didn’t completely cut ties with the in-laws, assuming that what you’ve written is accurate.  Only you know if it is, and only you know how the in-laws learned of your husband’s out of town trip.  Point being, you know why you chose to remain married to someone who would put you in this situation, and you know why you didn’t say “Unless you come home, I won’t be here when you do”  [/quote]

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